AFTER CANCER: FEELINGS. GRIEF
What Is Grief?
The human reaction to loss is grief—a heavy feeling in the chest, mental distress, and a sense of emptiness and sadness. We all grieve our losses in order to process them and move forward in a healthy way. Denying your losses, or not allowing yourself to grieve adequately, deprives you of the comfort and relief that come from healthy grieving.
If I Am Experiencing Loss(es), How Should I Grieve?
First, figure out what it is you are grieving. Acknowledge the losses, and express your feelings about the losses. It is best to share your feelings of loss with someone who can understand you, validate your feelings, and comfort you.
People unfamiliar with issues of recovery may not be supportive. They are liable to say things like “Don’t worry about your missing breast; at least you’re alive” or “Don’t worry about your girlfriend leaving you; if she left, she wasn’t much of a girlfriend anyway.” Your losses are real losses, and must be grieved. Lesser losses than death still need to be grieved. Having faced a life-threatening illness did not make you immune to the pain of losses.
Express your feeling of loss through art, music, or writing. If you feel like crying, cry. Find a safe place where you can cry freely.
There is no pill or magic that lets you bypass the grieving process. It takes time and expression.
Take comfort in the knowledge that experiencing the pain of your grieving will enable you to move forward and recapture joy and excitement.
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Tags: Cancer